February 2012
*a friends speech on my wedding day*
friend: I still remember her hanging up a poster of him, and she told me that she was going to marry him. We laughed about it, but it turned out that she was right.
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parents: in five years you won't even remember his last name
me: in five years it'll be my last name too
parents: what
me:
me: what
Josh Hutcherson has more sex appeal in his pinky...
Me: *trips*
Person: Haha wow you're so stupid hahaha
Me: ...haha yeah
Me two days later: YEAH WELL I MAY HAVE TRIPPED BUT YOUR MOTHER IS A PILL ADDICTED WHORE AND YOU'RE ON A FAST TRACK TO BEING A FAILURE JUST LIKE HER I HAVE A FUTURE TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND WILL AMOUNT TO FAR MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF
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mom: are you dating that boy you hugged him
mom: are you dating that boy you were talking to him
mom: are you dating that boy he looked at you
mom: are you dating that boy he was breathing your air
Josh Hutcherson: I'm single, I don't have a girlfriend.
Me: I volunteer as tribute.
When your friend gets insulted and the best you...
totally-relatable:
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thequell:
i love to pop and lock and jam and break
so I wonder what it's like for their kids
Daughter: But Mom I'm too lazy to clean my r-
Katniss: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE
Katniss: I HAD TO KILL CHILDREN
Katniss: SO I THINK THAT YOU CAN
Daughter: Mom you always pull this speech on-
Katniss: CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM
Peeta: ALSO
Peeta: YOUR MOM DID IT ALL FOR THE GAMES
Peeta: SOMETIMES I WANT TO CHOKE HER OUT OF NOWHERE
Daughter: Dad why are you even-
Peeta: MY LEG IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEE.
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Anti-Climactic Hunger Games
Caesar: Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?
Peeta: Madge.
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Thought before a cheerleading competition
bornsweetnoaddedsugar:
mind: breath breath!
me: what if I mess up!
mind: you’ll do fine
me: what if my stunt falls?
mind: blame it on the freshman
me: what about tumbling?
mind: when in doubt, just throw harder.
me: alright… I can do it
mind: good luck! dont mess up!
me: that’s a great thing to say!
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